chel purple world (^(oO)^)

2010-07-31T14:00:00.001+08:00

` it's been 29th days since ii last blog . haiis . wasn't in e mood for blogging too . but am bored like hell in shop soo iim here to blog -___-"

` everything happen this mth was soo sucky . dunch like it at all man . struggling hard to pass through everything .

fucking down down down ): words just can't describe my feeling now . everything seem to be crushing down . wth hell man . lao tian ars . can u pls tk away all my pain ? it's unbearable already . ii have been numbing myself for this past few week ? ii can console frens and give them comment but myself ? ii just can't let those words into my brain . right now infront of ppl ii can be very happy and act as nothing happen but deep inside ii mm feeling soo miserable and pain ): what should ii do ? ii m really lost in e jungle , can't seem to find the path out ! ii need you to guide me out of this fucking well . *sobs*

` hais . wo zhen de bu hui lahs . zhen me ban -__-" ? wo hao xiang ni ars . ii tired all ways already but eu just seem to stay and can't leave from e memories . feel like crying but jiu shi bu xiang ku chu lai )': . eu had pull me up from e fcuking well but whyie eu wanna push me down again ? and thisa ish e 3rd time . hw u wanna me to climb up ? can u teach mi how to reach e level of ur's that u can gave up everything just by those words ? on that particular day u told me every single little thing about what happen and told me that u would never push me down again . and u would never go to that fucking well again . every single word u said just can't seem to be erasable from my mind . and thing just happen soo quickly that ii myself really can't accept e fact within such a short period of time . u had left me again with a deep deep wounded scar and e pain ish x100 then before . ii thought that would be e last time but history still repeat itself ): how eu wanna me to digest all this pain and those hurting words eu said to me ? all those hurtful words issit from e bottem of ur heart ? how ii wish ii have special ability , so that ii would know wth u r thinking . hais . how long this torture gonna be again ? m blinded by all e pain and all e empty hope that would never ever come true again . would that day arrive again ? trying my utter best to climb up step by step , but e step is getting stiffer n stiffer !
how ii wish u rr by my side just like before but all this seem to be so far away )

` eu are someone that is nt easy being replaced by anybody . it would take me alot of courage to put down this burden . my heart ish sinking down down down to e bottem . e last msg ii send to u , it might seem to be stupid but eu should know what am saying . kit thung mak mak .

da ben dan <3 MY SY TC CY LY <3

<3 ii miss how you pamper me , how you hug me ,
how you pat my head , how you ali with me
, how you sayang me .
how you motivate me .
how you hold my hand . how you kiss me .
how you make me smile with ur msg .

how you love me and many many more <3

2010-07-02T19:08:00.000+08:00

` fate bought ask back again . on e 14th june we went to eat supper at jalan kayu (: ii nv thought that this day would come . ii was trying my utter best to forget about him but no matter how hard ii try it still could not . on that particular day he told me everything that happen after we broke off . but some of e stuff ii alr know . yeaps . when ii heard le ii was like speechless , those mths was hard for me to pass through . using all ways to numb myself .

but all well end well we are back tgt (: <3

` after tagging . e life style for me now is totally different . hais . never drop also sian , drop le also sian . WTF man . hais . confused MAX ): work . eat . drink drank drunk . it's my life now .

what else can ii do ? SHAG MAX

` now aday bb also busy with his stuff , really appreciated that day he spend sometime with me , but after that day thing start to change again . it's remind me back of e past . it such a phobia . ii really scare e ending would be e same as before again . what should ii do ? can somebody pls tell me . he pull me back from e well . and right now ii scare he would push me down again . if this happen , ii really dunno what should ii do . ii think ii will go crazy ):

` hmm . my birthday is coming soon . another 27 day . counting down . but really dunno how to celebrate ):

hmm . would he still be here to celebrate with me ?

` BB LUBBF .

kit thung mak mak <3

ii would never forget wat u promise me on th 14th june !

ii hope u would honour what u say .

pls dunch break my heart again .

ii lubf eu bb lubf <3

2010-06-12T21:58:00.000+08:00

` yeaps . backie to blog again . it's been sometime ! haas . life isn't as good as before ):

` on e 4th june 10 ii drop my tagging and gain back my freedom . it was like finally . all this hardship ii have gone through was indeed a hard want yahs ! haiis . continuous for 6 days ii played until crazy . until ii see liquor and beer it make me feel so yucky ! hmm . fri went for midnight movie follow by drink . sat went to find baby with vonne and went to drink at pub and .... after that follow by V4 . sun went to Upub and NANA with lynn . tian and vonne and follow by a very big dramatic show . mon went to le bar with herng bro and e others . tue went to ice to find baby after that go V4 . wed ii forget go wher le . thur fri was HOME SWEET HOME .

` sunday night was actually a great night but ended up someone spoil the whole day . after nana we went to eat at G7 after eating someone almost kana whack but everyone stop . after that im e one hu can't tahan anymore , when she shouted at me that was e point ii go but ii take back my hand in e end she scratch until my neck and pul my hair . after that ii went crazy ii really feel like whacking her but cos of our frenship . in e end my sis come down ii stop again after that gt one guy came dunno say wat bla bla bla ... in e end went off . so after that when he know ii kana hit . he came down . so ii stop again cos if she get hurt all of will sure get caught . so ii had a max fight with him on e street and hit until e fren car after that ii whole person break down . and she say she see me like that she very heartpain . and she send me msg dunno say what will be there for me and bla bla bla and apologise to me . so everything start from here ii got so many injury cos of her but ii dun blame her . but after a few day her pattern come back again . ownself de sis de bf also wanna hong . wth ? cos of ... ? where is her shame man ? in e end right now she mia . money is not a issue for me . this time round my lesson was a big one .

` e money she owe or borrow from me is not an issue but today ii finally realise alot of thing . using a $500 to settle everything was e most shit thing but at least this money can give me peace . and e money can be earn back easily . worst to worst not enough money to use get a night job and tahan for awhile nor . family also problematic -_-" e best way is to move out ii guess .

` sometime ii really feel very stupid . when ii treat pple good pple treat me as shit . but when ii need help only a few one stay by my side . haiis . ii really dunno what e hell is going on . when ii keep quiet doesn't mean m nothing . but well alot pple warn me about her but ii just can't believe all this ): when ii first knew her she wasn't like this . but well using a few hundred dollar to see one true person colour was a good one indeed ! hais , ther's goes my wallet and bag and saving . struggling hard now aday . ii am strong wanna right ? LOLS .

` it was like WOW .

finally we talked , it's been so long . did not expect . yeaps . <3

` hmm . ii guess ii have to be strong to pass this obstacles . how ii wish ther's someone hu's there to pamper me and listen to my sorrow and be there for me wheneva ii need him . it had been quite sometime . where is my mr right ? iimisseu da ben dan <3

kit thung mak mak <3

2010-05-28T00:53:00.002+08:00

` wow . it was like ages since ii last blog . finally am backie due to am free and nothing better to do . lols >,<

` throughout this one month plus , life was so sucky . dunno where excatly am heading to and am totally in a blank . well hope ASAP ii can get back to the right track that ii wanna head to (: it's gonna be difficult but there's a saying " xin ku hou tian " ii believe my effort will pay off in the future .

` life is soo sucky and boring . eat sleep work , this are the only thing that am doing right now ! when then can ii have my freedom back ? stop killing me . ii need some time to enjoy and relax myself ! please end it soon . ii pray ii hope ii wish ):

` whenever am upset ur image will pop out . and ii will think back on the past that we shared but ... all this would only be remained as the past and in my dream . how ii wish and hope that those days did not end , all this ish only my wistful thinking . sighs >,< how ii wish you are by my side whenever ii need you )': lubbf lubbf <3

` ii might be brave infront of everybody but deep down inside am soo weak ! every little thing ish making me insane . the only thing that is occupying my thought is work work and only work . right now ii just wish that the stupid rolex would end on june . the only thing am looking forward ish my birthday 29th July !!! looking forward to it and am gonna save save save .

2010-04-13T01:02:00.002+08:00

` wow wow . it's been ages since ii last blog . finally ii got the time to blog again ! nothing muchie happen during this period of time . work , smoke , home , eat , sleep ! haas . all this are my daily routine . what more can ii expect ? hopefully by june my stupid rolex will drop (: that will be the time to party and work 2 jobs at the same time . actually am at a lost of what ii wanna . sighs . walk one step see one step would be the best solution ii guess .

` sometime ii really wonder what are true friend ? indeed ii have some good frens . but some left some stay and some are distance apart ! they most sickening thing ish to quarrel with ur bestie is the most dismoralise thingy in the world . but when eu think on the positive side quarrel might make ur friendship bonds more stronger ii guess . well there's no right or wrong ! times will prove everything ii guess (:

` as times goes by ii really misshs the tym when we were tgt . but ii guess things would never ever be the same anymore . sighs . ii guess we will only be stranger ! everythings it's separating us apart . we will never be the same anymore . how ii wish ): but sighhs . . .

the sky ish dark . the star are shining brightly ! eu're the only one that appeared in my thought . stacking e pillow high up and think through the wonderful days we bth share . without ur pressence my life ish colourless ! ii shall cyaa in my lala land tonight and ii shall had e sweetest dream of all night tonights ! iimisseu da bendan ♥

` soo happy that my laogong ish finally out . yeaps . she came to find me today . though we never talk much but we will catch up asap . haas . her laughter never fail to brighten up my day . iilubbfeu <3 am still waiting for ke ai , penguin , darling , emily jie , doreen , kakak and sharon !

am right here waiting for all of you (:

2010-03-10T00:26:00.001+08:00

` haiis . so muchie things happen during this march . it's just the beginning of march onli ! how long am ii going to suffer again ? haiis . everythings is soo FUCKING COMPLICATED . what should ii do ? can someone pls tell mi ? haiis .

` this few days also no time blog . soo tired not enough sleep . sat backie to work until ysd almost everyday also late . what the hell am ii doing man ? gotta wake up when the alarm ring tmrr . gotta put in more effort !
if not next mths eat shit liaos -___-"

` not in the mood to update my stuff .
soo just a short entry . hmm .

` WO HAO XIANG NI ars .
haiis . imagine life without you is soo fucking colourless <3

2010-03-10T00:16:00.000+08:00

` baby nigel was born on 3rd march at gleaneagle 1133am . haas . ii had another nephew again . well . taking care of jies kids till saturday . lols . after sean and en en birthday celebration . ii fetch e kids home . soo on the ways both xavier and en en said : " ah yi , wo bu yao hui jia " ! lols . but no choice have to send them back cos ii gotta work nobody can takkaries of them ! haas

2010-02-24T00:57:00.000+08:00

` this picture remind me of you ! ur's favourite pic . .

how ii wish 77 days ago that beautiful night feel with warm and happiness scene can be repeated !

ur voice . ur msg . ur face

iimisseu ben dan (^(oO)^)

2010-02-23T05:31:00.000+08:00

` it's 4.51am in e moring and ii just can't get to sleep . wat e hell am ii doing . it's been months . how can ii get this cure ? tried everything but at e end of the day , the problem of mine still can't be solved . can anybody pls help me ? haiis .

` finally liying sis have given birth to her little baby zayden . well , still did not get a chance to see her yet due to her no reply smses ! lols . anyway congrat sis ! shall cyaa soon alright (: huggs .

` nothing special happen . wake up , work then home sweet home ! open e labbie to play fb after that watch series show until late night then off to bed ! haas . soo bored . sunch even noe when my stupid rolex can take out . hmm , babes session have been getting lesser and lesser due to what am also not sure . well , also never met up with tian as often as e past due to what am also in a ??? . haiis . work also getting more bored as days goes by . though at time it's fun but sometimes it might be sucky . what to do ? lucky ish a place whereby ther's alot of happy and unhappy moment which it's countless . haas . but sometimes a thought back can be great at times (: everything had change after my return , alot of thing's can't be compared to e past ! ther's pros and cons . memories will still be kept yaa (: thankies to those hu are in my memories ! you know who you are (: especially you . bros , buddy and bla bla bla . . .

` ur sudden disappearence was a big impact to me ! indeed after eu left , my life was totally up side down and in a great mess . no words can describe e pain that am in . trying my utter best to forget everything but it seem so difficult ! it's been four mths but right now am still stuck at the bottom . am really at a lost . what should ii do man ? how ii wish time can go back , when the day that ii came out ! ii could feel e warm and happiness in you . in a blink of an eye everything ish gone without any traced )':

<3 ii miss how you pamper me , how you hug me , how you pat my head , how you ali with me , how you sayang me . how you motivate me . how you hold my hand and many many more . . .

you are the star that bright in my sky , without you it become darker and darker as days goes by ! alot things ii did not get to tell eu and nobody know as well . ii guess e secret will be hidden forever . eu said * eu are realli sorry tat eu left , juz hoping ii good . . . Muz futher ur study makes all ur wishes come true . . . * maybe am e wanna thinking too much or watsoeva . am afraid my promise to you would be broken cause right now am in a lost . just can't make up a decsion , this think onli one person know that is . . . this time if ii go dunno will be how long le . well , let's put a side this thing . what ii know now ish ii do MISS EU tons <3

` gonna continue when am free (: gotta head to bed le .

if not tmrr will be super duper late le !

wan an . strawberries dreams . cyaa at lala land .

iimisseu ben dan <3 (^(oO)^)

2010-02-15T02:46:00.000+08:00

` it been 10 days since ii last blog .

` been busy with work and preparing for cny . hmm . nothing special happen for this past few days . now waiting for school to start . hmm . retest will be on march . soo right now . work ish e only thing that occupied me .

` yeaps . today ish the first day of CNY . hmm . went to 2 places only . gamble at ah ma house , win some money , gave kors and jies $50 each . haas . that how ii pass my chu yi . hmm . today ish also valentine day's ! well , it's a disappointing one . no special programme . LOLS . he's the wanna that came up to my thought but ii guess it will only appear in my dream only . haiis .

` IIMISSEU LOADS <3

though times flies but the memories will stay in my heart as long as ii live . . .

eu can never be replaced easily by anyone . . .

` times to go orhs orhs liaos . tmrr maybe working . soo tired woke up damn early today .

wan an . strawberries dreams

HAPPY NEW YEAR & HAPPY VALENTINE DAY <3

= especially to you =

2010-02-05T00:43:00.000+08:00

` down with fever , running nose , sore throat , cough and headache ! argghs . am soo xin ku )':

` head damn giddy when ii woke up today . but force myself to wake up due to work . so kelians of me . haas . hmms . reach work place ard 11am . the days pass so slowly due to nothing do ! haiis . slack all the way . hmm . after work head home cause dunno where to go . soo bored . went market to eat before head home . ard 10plus hua come and find me , slack with him for awhile at downstair de playground ! that all folk ! gonna head to bed soon . as tmrr got reporting ): haiis . dunno what she gonna say tmrr !

` so piss of with someone . how can she MIA just lykdat ! arghhss . can ii box her ? LOLS

` iimisshseu as much as ii always do (:

wan an . strawberries dream

(^(oO)^)

2010-01-29T00:29:00.000+08:00

` went to work late . a day slacking again . so bored . talk 3 talk 4 here and there . after work no where to go soo head home . life ish so boring ):

` what the hell ish happening to me ? simply just can't concentrate on whatever things am doing . feeling soo lost right now . just feel like disappering from everybody to be ALONE but ii know this isn't the best ways to solve things . soo what am ii going to do ? frens keep asking me , why are eu so quiet now adays ? you don't seem to be yourself , what ish bothering you ? say lahs . dunch keep to yourself . my answer was nothing lahs . it's okay ! no worries . . .

` ii have been numbing myself for this few months . what the hell am ii doing ? ii myself also dunno . the pain ish getting more and more unbearable . though ii look alright infront but deep down inside ii feel soo miserable . putting a brave front and smile iish really very tiring and pain . can someone pull me up from the well ? where ish the old cheerful rachel ? would she find her way back ? the path ish getting tougher and tougher . how am ii going to pull through ? haiis . it's gonna be a long route for me to walk )':

` <3 ii miss how you pamper me , how you hug me , how you pat my head , how you ali with me , how you sayang me . how you motivate me . how you hold my hand . how you make me smile and many more . . .

how ii wish you're here with me . .

how ii wish (^(oO)^) sobbies )':

2010-01-28T02:28:00.000+08:00

` daily routine ish still the same nothing muchie special happen . wake up , work , dinner than home sweet home . lols . that the way ii lead my life now . soo boring ):

` after work went to mum mum with tian at taka . after that head to 313 somerset to shop . bought clothes form forever 21 and some stuff from cotton on ! yeaps . cabbie home again . part of my money all goes to cigarette and cab fare . gotta start o save . but it's totally IMPOSSIBLE !!!

` the distance keep us apart ):

iimisshseu . . .

2010-01-26T01:32:00.002+08:00

` ii have been having problem sleeping at nites ever since the day . . . how am ii gonna cure this sickness . ii have try all ways already but still no improvement . wat am ii gonna do man . suffering from insomina . goshs . it's getting worse as days goes by . can sombody pls save me ? arggghhhss . . .

` memories always run through my mind without any notice .

sometimes things cannot be erased easily !

no matter how hard eu tried . how ii wishh . .

<3 iimisshseu . . .

` things happen for a reason .
likewise eu have to face it bravely

though you know that the path ishh gona be tough !

no matter what you gonna pull through .

thing gonna be fine real soon . the road of sucess !

seeing you happy , would be the

most greatest gift ii ever wanted other then youu <3

2010-01-24T00:09:00.000+08:00

` hmms . ysd went to see my little princess at thomson medical . yeaps . finally she ish born out healthy (: yeaps . from morning 10am stay until abt 6pm den went off . haas . at there almost fall alseep . lols . cause ii did not sleep the previous night . 830am in the morning kana called wake up by jie liaos . lols . went to taka as jies wanted to buy coach pouch . hmms . went to the children department and bought power ranger for didi . carebare for enen . haas . went for dinner then reach home about 8plus . bathe liaos then went to bed straight . haas . too tired liaos (:

` woke up ard 0245pm . due to sleepness nite the day before . ii slept for almost 19hrs then wakies . lols . power right . wentt to eat lunch at market . then backie hme to rest . ard 5plus went to amk hub to buy some stuff . meet jies at the hawker to eat . after that bring xavier to buy power ranger disc as ysd did not buy anything for him . hmm . after that head to hospital to see little princess (: haas . ard 0945pm went off with daddy to grab some bite . reach home ard 11pm . lols . gonna head to bed soon as tmrr gona go work (:

` Tan Kai Xuan Janelle

21st January 2010

2.723kg

2010-01-22T02:57:00.000+08:00

` nothing much happen this few day . still the same as ever . life ish so boring and meaningless . but wateva it ish life still have to goes on . haiis . really must sit down and think thoroughly what ii actually wanted . ii have been wasting my time . ii must look down the road for what ii wanna in future . haiis . no mood for everything . simply just could not be bothered with anything . times just past blindly for me right now . soo confused by load of things . hopefully after rain there would be sunshine and butterflies .

` woke up late today . on the way to work pass labbie to kors as da sao was at the hospital due to princess coming out . haas . nothing muchie happen at work . play com and ali baba with them due to no pple the whole stretch was like graveyard man . LOLS . went back home after work . bought some tibits and drink on the way back . around 940pm jie msg and told me that our little princess ish born out safely and healthy (: yeaps .

now ii upgrade to become xiao gugu liaos (: woohoo ~

` that all for todays . turning in soon . can't wait to see my little niece later (: wan an . strawberries dreams (:

2010-01-16T01:49:00.001+08:00

` on the 14th daddy went to do the operation . damn worried while waiting for him outside . suddenly received his called and he was transfered to the ICU unit , as the operation was on heart so they scared something will go wrong so must 24hr monitor . first time see daddy in hospital and so many poke into his body , see le damn heart pain )': the first and the last ii hope . haiis . when daddy was sleeping ii jiu went off ard 8pm then meet tian at tanglin mall then we tgt head dwn to jurong . after that send her home then ii head to amk to eat then home sweet home (:

` daddy was discharged from the digusting place . but he can't drive and use force ish not the wound would be pain . haiis . hopfully he will get well soon (:

` so damn pissed off today . someone irritate me and say ii step on the head . WTF man . ii kept quiet doesn't mean that ii am nothing and agree to what you say . my wire ish sot already . you dunch be overbored and go over the limit ii tell u . if not the outcome wun be a happy ending .

` finally my tian ish back to her normal self (: went to eat chicken rice with her at fareast today . lucky we were early if not can't get to eat again . lols . bought a bag and clothes again . no more shopping until next mths for me . am damn broke already . haiis . no work no money )':

` that all folk . gotta head to bed as tomolo ii gotto wakie early to go wrk (: wan an . strawberries dreams (:

` listening to song , make memories come back and remind me of the past . somewhere inside my heart ii know ii misshs eu as muchie then before . ii just dunno whyie , ii just could not let it off )': ii just can't forget about you <3 ii really . . . lost in the jungle , would you be the star to guide me out from my darkest moment ? you promise to be there wheneva ii need you . . . gone with the wind *

2010-01-13T14:00:00.000+08:00

` ysd after work went to eat with tian xin at hong kong cafe . the food soo little . eat liaos also not full . knn . and kana bluff also but nvm lahs . at least they rebate me the mango snow ice money . hmm . took cab home tgt with tian . reach home damn early . haas . watch finish my dvd and edit some of my contact then after that head to bed , by then it was 330am . lols .

` overslept just now . in a rush to go out then forget to bring jacket . at reporting kana say . wat liaos . got tatto not human mehs ? kaos . ali baba with her for about 15min . then she say something then make me burning . she said that she would not recommand 6mths , cause she scared ii will rehab like the other's . WTF . we are totally different pple how can she compare ? brainless man . now all my hope shattered liaos lor . all thanks to her . go work , go home on time . go school . what more does she want man ? pua turtle .

2010-01-09T23:16:00.008+08:00

` overslept today . so was late to work . haiis . so shag and tired man . reach ard 12pm . the sales today was bad . haiis . siians . after work went to meet tian at amk hub . acc to eat mos then after that she head home ii went to buy eye drop , removal wipe and some disc to watch and listen .
after that head back home .

` open the letter box while waiting for the lift . then saw 2 letter with my school name and ii knew it was my result . straight away ii open it . so happy when see the first result BUSINESS ACCOUNTING ii score DISTINCTION A* , when ii open the second want straight away my smile drop cause ii FAIL my PRINCIPLE OF PRODUT MANGEMENT . WTF . ii put in effort de !
in the end like that . haiis . nw gonna spend money for retake
KNN . PROUD of myself at e sametime ii despice myself . . .

` ii told you ii will study hard ,
but now ii disappoint u le cos ii FAIL .
so sorry ii broke my promise )':

` whole person now fucking moody . pua turtle .
so stupid of me lors . yy fail . KNN . . .

2010-01-06T00:20:00.001+08:00

` life as usual , no much different , still the same as eva ! haiis . soo bored !!! when then can my fucking thing be over ? times pass so slowly man )':

` slept for the whole afternoon ! dunno whyie nv go school nv go work today . so sick and tired of everything ! whyie my life suddenly turn upside down ? haiis . ii also dunno what am thinking also . can someone pls guide me through ? nothing went smoothly for this starting of the year 2010 !

` the day before that fucker came up and broke my window . WTF . can't you just leave me alone ? me and you ish already over since the day am out ! let me tell you one more time , ii dunch owe you anything ! pig also know that you're the want who owe me . ii just want you out of my life ! simple and easy ! stop threatening or harressing me ! you're just making a fool of yourself . ii hate you as much as anything . how ii wish you're dead ! nothing can change the fact and time can never go back ! JUS FUCK OFF EU ASSHOLE , FREAKO . . .

` met up with sweetheart kays today ! wanted to watch alvin and the chipmunk in the end never cause accompany her walk the whole amk hub to find dress . in the end the conclusion was she get nothing at all , empty handed ! lols . slack at amk , then met up with amanda chat awhile after that hua didi come find me , ali baba with him awhile then he send me back . haiis . that how my day end . reach home in time ! hope tmrr will be a better day (: jiayou jiayou

` IIMISSEU <3 nothing can change the fact .
am numbing myself ):

2010-01-03T04:25:00.000+08:00

` went to work late due to certain stuff . reach work place ard 3pm . was not in a good mood as there was so muchie stuff to stress . ard 5plus recieved a super shocking news . ah ma was at hospital due to a fall in the toilet and her leg bone crack and needa go for operation . lucky nothing happen to her thank god . whyie this few day so many thing happen . how ii wish ther's someone to stand by me to support me ):

` finally am awake from my stary dream already . ii overheard the whole conversation . when ii heard my whole heart just fall off from 25th story . ii never knew that my bestie belubbf sista vonne would say this kinda of thing . never in my whole life someone say me say until like that . ii dunno why ii want help and stand by you all the way . ii never ever hope for any return from you . ii just want you to be safe and nothing happen to you . simple and easy . just one word from issit so difficult ? but what did you say ? ii force you . omgs . since you say this make sure you dunch regret . you treat me like a fool from the starting point . whatever it ish am super duper disappointed in you . if so muchie thing happen you still can't wake up ii simply got nothing to say . you say you heartache when ii say everything out , but ish all words ! where are all yaa action ? ii dunch care what other's say , ii truly deeply treasure the r/s between the both of us but right now things have change . what done had been done . nothing can be undone . since you can make ya decision and the right choice . i'll give ya my blessing to you and him . am still around as always ! whenever you need help or what happen you can still give me a call . takkaries my lubbf <3 let see what gonna happen in future . haiis . . .

` my feeling right now ish so confuse , upset , disappointed , worry and bla bla . what a mix feeling . how ii wish you're with me now . but that would only be in my dreams . iimisseu badly <3 ii miss how you pamper me , how you hug me , how you pat my head , how you ali with me , how you sayang me . how you motivate me . how you hold my hand and many many more . . . how ii wish how ii wish . . . sobs )':

2010-01-02T01:35:00.001+08:00

` woke up at 0830am today -_-" . damn shag cause ii only sleep for three hours plus . lols . drag myself up cause sis must reach work at 0940am . in a rush to prepare everything . took cab down to raffles city wait for her to punch card and ii went to buy macdonald to eat . ate hotcake for breakfast , after smoke took mrt down to orchard to open shop . ii was damn early lors . 1020am reach . everybody was shocked . lols . what to do ? haas . during work was so tired , few like sleeping but cannot . sales today also not very good . maybe iish ii cannot concentrate due to certain reason . yuppies . haiis . went off ard 0720pm to eat steamboat . the food there was not very nice and plus am the only one plucking the prawn for them and for me to eat . so ke lian right ? well , amm a good person soo , praise me man (: haasafter that went to swensen's to eat ice cream . haas . yummy yummy (: lastly went to the arcade to play rock fever . but not fun due to the new machine . hhaas . use $15 to catch bear bear but ended with empty hand cause never catch until . haas . haiis . siianz )':

` things just come soo suddenly . nobody ever thought of thise day to come . well , god iish fair ii guess . anyway no matter what ii will stand by yaa side . when uu fall i'll be ya pillar of support . hopefully after the rain there will be rainbow . hope things won't go worst to that extend . haiiss

` that all for today . amm soo tired already . eye's closing . wan an . strawberries dream (:

` A NEW YEAR , A NEW START , A NEW BEGINNING OF LIFE . LET'S WELCOME HAPPINESS TOGETHER <3

2009-12-31T15:30:00.000+08:00

` in a blink of an eye , it's gonna be 2010 liaos . so much pain and unhappiness had happen during this particular year . especially this few month am living in hell . dunno what the hell am doing also . can ii just let go of everything and don't give a damn to all the stuff am doing right now ? ii have been numbing myself ! can't eat , can't sleep . how ii wish ii can be back the old cheerful rachel . perhaps what ii need ish really time . no one know what will happen in future and ii also dunch wanna go think about it . let natural take it's course then . yuppies . let the beautifully memories stay bring all the unhappiness away and let welcome 2010 (: memories would always stay , it can never be erased . hope my birthday wish would come true . am still waiting <3

` no one know how muchie pain im in , deep inside my heart ii know ii still misseu < ii wanted you > . . .

2009-12-31T04:03:00.000+08:00

` woke up late today . as usual late for work . haiis . but never late over shot lors . hhaiis . siian lors . oso dunno this few day wat am up to also . haiis . super duper fan this few day . haiis . work also no mood . dunno whyie also . this few day have not been going school also . shag lors .

` haiis . today so muchie things happen . haiis . am stuck in the middle . dunno what to do also . no comment . haiis . hope everything will be fine after a few day bahs . nothing ish impossible unless eu give up !

` suddenly my mind ish full of you but there's nothing ii can do . only one way to stop thinking of you ish to numb myself , there's nothing muchie ii can do already . haiis . things can never go back to the past anymore ): ii might look happy infront but deep inside my heart am in pain ! do you know that ? haiis . everything now ish only memories )': saddd . . .

2009-12-28T00:38:00.002+08:00

` finally ii got the time to blog (: lalalaaa ~

` have a great and happy christmas . it was my beloved and dearest kors kors de wedding day . this day finally had come . soo damn happy for him (: well . such a heart warming nite . when they was saying the vow and exchanging ring tears nearly drop but ii tahan . lols . when kor was saying the vow he was so kan jiong lor . haas (: anyway congrat man . ii give my blessing to the both of you (: now all of us ish waiting for the little princess to be out and im gonna be xiao gugu liaos (: hees . one level up again <3

` ii was super tired man . walk here walk there with the heel and playing with my nephew and niece . lols . anyway , everything went on very smoothly . gathering with family . chat with them . drink and relax . when it was the speech time . ii feel so heart warming and touched . how ii wish MUMMY and POPO was here with us but too bad )': kors say the speech say until he drop tears , at that particular time ii really realise alot things , everything ii can lose and don't want but ii JUST cannot lose my family . cause deep inside my heart iilubbf them soo muchie , it's just that all of us never express out ): during my hardest and darkest moment they are there for me . especially my daddy and jie jie . ! well . ii guess it's time for me to do some soul searching . anyway ii never forget what ii promise the both of you . ii will never repeat the same mistake again ! thanks god ii have eu all (:

`when it was jie jie time to say something , this time my tears just roll down from my cheek without me noticing . yeaps . this what jie jie said " daddy , thanks for everything ! without you mean there won't be us being around , you're not only a daddy to me but also my best fren ! ' soo touching rite ? haiis . but recently found out that daddy health ish getting worst ): found out there heart failure and need to go for operation or put balloon . haiis . everything just come so suddenly . daddy nothing must happen to you , if not i'll go crazy man . pls don't gimme heart attack . i'll try to accompany you as often as ii can okay . after dec ii will be more free le . yeaps .

` the wedding night end beautifully . ii never forget this special christmas 251209 (:

` the wedding day photo <3

` after everything went to meet my beloved sista for supper . went to eat prata . time was rushing so did not chat muchie . will catch up with ya soon alrite ? iilubbfeu loads . misshs misshs <3

2009-12-23T13:27:00.001+08:00

` wow . it's been one week since ii last blog man . haas . super shag and tired .

` sunday went to wrk after that head to meet babes for dinner at the cathay gto eat sashimi <3 it's been ages since we went out tgt . lols . enjoyable day . shall have more outing tgt kks (:

this sunday PULA UBIN here we come . woohoo ~

` monday went to work after that tian and mike come find me to go eat dinner . but me and tian ended up never eat due to mike say eat foodcourt . irritating . after dinner went to tk thing and meet him jiu home sweet home le !

life ish so meaningless man .

2009-12-14T23:09:00.000+08:00

` did not slept well . sleep wake up and all craps . hmms . intend to go help out wanna but lazy , so in e end never go . lols . slack awhile at home after that prepared to go . went to tabao for tian xin to eat , den went to her work place find her . haas . gan dong mahs tian ? lols . did not expect rite ? see ii tis kinda so gud de person go where find ? hmms . lols . anyway after that head for school . mit hei xin ren to show her e way there . yeaps . hmms . den mit xiao hai zi at school outside to smoke ! after that she acc me in e class until e lectuer come then she went off . yeaps . after sch meet tian and xing to go mum mum , yingming was also there . yeaps . after that head to get tian thing then jiu home sweet home le . talk awhile with xing at dwnstair then jiu go home le . wat a boring day . class not bad today but kip on kana aim ! haiis . siianz . that all folk .

` wan an . strawberries dreams (:

2009-12-14T02:19:00.001+08:00

` woke up damn early today . couldn't get to sleep cause of the liquor . bathe , get ready , make-up then went out to work le . reached luck ard 1030am . haas . early bird hors ? hmms . today sales soso only . did not hit my own target . haiis . but that all ii can do . ii did my best le . sometimes im really sick n tired of lucky . but no choice . promise is a promise ! haiis . last minute do one samll ay . hmms . not bad . haas . ii thought ii can't close dat customer wanna but who noe's ? just my luck (: yeaps . well . during work was abit angry lahs . but ii not so petty , nag nag awhile jiu hao liaos . hmms . siians . lucky ish really not my place liaos . gonna concentrate on my study le . haiis . tmrr going start sch liaos . siianz max man . anyway ii will try my best to help u all out when am free and not studying ya (: hees . that e best ii can do liaos . hmms

` finally ii saw what ii wanna saw already . it was low then my expectation man . but what to do ? no comment . haas . anyway as long as u're happy . i'll be happy too . wat past has already pass and this ish wat you told me . anyway u will not see me as often as u do already and you won't feel paisei anymre ! yupps . so takkaries yaa . all e best to you . no worries , we rr still fren (: cherish every little thing that happen before <3
da ben dan . thankies forr etink . . .
eu'll always have a place in my heart . memories .

2009-12-14T02:00:00.000+08:00

` ysd went to do manicure , but all in e end smudge . irritating lors . haas . after that went to meet da dou and dhanielle . went to buy present . was supposed to meet precious wanna but in e end never cos he got to go his daddy birthday . hmms . meet the rest at amk . den went mos burger to eat , after that head down to sin ming prawning to find tian xin . when we reach there , da dou so stupid cannot recognise tian xin . ii from outside also can see tian liaos . after that ii point to her where is she . den she laugh . ben ben xia da dou . haas . when we reach there her brota and frens already at there le . hmms . talk . smoke . drink . slack . bbq ! stared to drink ard 5+pm . . .

` when e martell came . tian . dou . mike . xing and me each drunk from e bottle . haas . times flies , one by one started to went home due to the stupid rolex on e leg ! haas . the cut cake session was ard 830+pm . sang tian birthday song . after e wishes n everything . those idoit took e spray come out and play . OMGS . ii was not e birthday ger but ii kana more then tian , not fair man . ii will revenge wanna . haas . you all wait . hmm . waited for ger ( shuyi ) to come down . hmms . she reach ard 0950pm lykdat . talk . take photo and slack over there . haas . play poker with forfiet . lols . laugh until ii stomach cramp , when u see mike doing e butt lettering . haas . damn funny lor . lols . ii went off at 1150pm . home sweet home <3

` unbealivable thing happen . ii myself also confuse . haiis . now r/s thing to me is nothing important to my life . cause ii got my family and lovely babe around me . r/s ish jus a bonus to me now . anw walk one step see one step bahs .

` hopfully tian xin lyke e present we gave her . tian xin big liaos ars , dun anyhow hors . dunch make me worry for u . hmm . hope u anjoy yaself yesterday . iilubbfeu <3 010409

2009-12-12T11:05:00.000+08:00

` it's been 1 weeks since ii last updated my blog . lols . super duper tired that why . haas .

= TIAN XIN <3 =

` HAPPY BURFDAY MY LUBBF . may all ya dreams come true in wateva ways . put all the unhappiness behind and look forward to better days ahead . no matter rain or shine i'll be by ya side wanna . no worries . i'll be ya ear's . shoulder & pillar's ! let enjoy ya special day's tgt kaes . iilubbfeu <3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY .

` well . it's been 1 week since ii last updated , due to work n tiredness ! finally today ish my off day but ii still woke up damn early . cause gonna go mit precious . da dou . dhan to buy things . haas . soo no choice huf to lies to tian . haas . ps ars . lols . hmms . what shuld ii get leis ? haiis . we shall walk walk see see (:

` ysd went off work at 0815pm + tian come find me . haas . went to bugis want to buy shirt ended up buy something else . WTF . haas . went to eat chicken rice at parklane there follow by beancurd (: den home sweet home . lols . nthing much to update also cos my life now work work work . haas . shall update mre in e night . gotta go get ready liaos . if not wait ii late . haas . ciao ~

2009-12-03T22:31:00.000+08:00

` well . today woke up late again ! OMGS . can't belief it man . ii sleep very early liaos , ended up also late wake up . WTF ! dunno wat the hell iim doing man ! gonna wake up early tmrr to open shop ! early bird should have more gain ii guess ! LOLS . today also no customer , siianz xia . so boring . haiis . hopefully tmrr will be beta (: went to do manicure just now ! haas . finally man . now let pple see my nail also not paisei liaos . haas . hua also came dwn to find me to get his present . hope he like it lahs . after work went to eat dinner with tian xin . iilubbfeu man TIAN <3

` 22 more days to christmas and kors wedding day ! hopefully ii can get get myself a LV or GUCCI for christmas (:

` that all for today (: gds nites . strawberries dream

(^(oO)^) . iimisshseu loads

2009-12-02T23:17:00.002+08:00

` on monday took my business accounting paper , all the 5 question ii noe how to do , hopefully can get an A . woohoo ~ haas . so many pple owe me meal . wahhaas ,

` his few days nothing muchie happen . same routine . wake up go wrk , finish work go home . nothing special lo ! also nthing much to update ! sibeii siians . haiis . bought a ear ring for hua birthday , it's cost me a bomb man ! hopefully he would like it . tian xin and leslie brota birthday also cuming . also dunno wat to buy for them ! pocket wan empty liaos . haven buy things for myself already gonna spend everyhing already ! SHIT )':

` today woke up damn late , overslept man ! haas . reach the around 1+pm . haas . today also no pple , but damn dulan some pple . haiis . nvm lahs . forget it , one more tym ii sure FUCK him upside down wanna ! today only do 2 customer , shit lor . never mind lahs tomorow will be better (: yeaps

` gonna end here already ! sipping early tonite .
gds nites (^(oO)^)

` TO MY TIAN XIN

tian xin ars . eu dunch upset okay ! cause eu still got mi , anything ii will be by ya side wanna (: nthing ish impossible wanna . if u really cuming o stay with mi , we shall D.I.Y e room together okay . iiliubbfeu <3

01042009

2009-11-28T23:37:00.001+08:00

` ysd slept half way got one idoit call and irritate me . drunk liaos then come and ali baba with me . WTF man ! woke up very early today , super shag man but bobian leis . make up finish le then ate breakfast - kor kor buy de ' ai xin zao can ' wahhaas . reach lucky at 11+pm . today do one bapa for almost 1hrs lors . sickening ass waste my tym at e end only earn USO . WTF . another ibu tmrr cuming back again . haiis . can eu stop coming back and stop calling me ? irritating xia ! LOLS .

went off at 0320pm to meet da sao at amk hub (: jies jies came to fetch us to go down ah yi house to celebrate ah ma birthday (: the weather was not good , raining . in e end no BBQ but buffet ! haas . all the food was cook buy ' ah kiong ah gu ' . it was so delicious man ! his cooking skill is super duper good (: alot of people came down to celebate the special day together but during cutting cake session ah ma was sad and she cry cause she suddenly think of ' dua gu ' . went to console her and she smile again ! yuppies . in e end had a supise ah boii was coming down , finally saw him afte so long but didn't mange to talk to him , well , there's another tym ! i'll cyaa soon (: finally he and ' ah yi ' ish okay le (: all well end well ! jie fu drove the 3 of us home . super shag max . gonna sleep early tonite . wan an everybody . strawberries dreams (:

` iimisseu lyk crazy even me den words can say

2009-11-28T00:34:00.000+08:00

daily routine is still the same , woke up bathe plus make up then went to lucky to help out . reach here ard 12pm ! lols . e whole day was like shit lykdat . haiis . was quite unhappy over certain things but just kept quiet . thing happen already cannot be undone . so ii just leave it aside. can't be bothered as well . dunno wat to do also . anyway ii will not be staying long at that shit place . haiis . take a step at a time bahs .

exam ish around he corner but am no toally prepared ! haiis . hopefully everything can go smoothly bahs . like that ii no nid to headache over so much thing ! lalalaa . tmrr gonna head over to ah yi house to celebrate ah ma birthday ! lols . ii miss out 2 years already . finally ii can celebrate with them togeher ! wahhaas (: anyway hope tmrr jies got bring the kids along , so that ii can play with them . wahhaas (:

that all for today ! wan an . strawberries dreams

II MISS EU LYK CRAZY <3

2009-11-26T22:32:00.001+08:00

` am soo tired this few days not enough sleep man ! haiis . dunno whyie ! LOLS . hmms . by e tym ii each lucky was already dunno wat tym le . haiis this few days aso no pple + no sales . KUA SIAO days . haas . went off early to go home study . haiis . at there cannot concentrate soo decided to go back early . haiis . though am back to my normal self but ii also not very happy leis . dunno when then can find someone who will dote nn lubbf mi as much as he do wanna . haiis . siianz . now only look forward for my tagging to drop already . ii know ii can do it wanna . 3 more mths to go only . ii will jiayou wanna . yuppies . now everything ii also dunn wanna care le lahs . my family nn bestie come first . those who dunno how to appericate me can jolly well FUCK OFF ! cause ii dunnch need eu to come nn upset my life ! wahaas . nothing muchie to update cause nthing muchie happen this few days (:

` am still waiting . will that day come ?
this is only a dream ii guess (:

29th july can eu come faster so that my wish can come true ?
(^(oO^)

2009-11-24T23:21:00.003+08:00

` ysd was e most devestated day ! drank alot ysd . almost do something that ii shoundn't have but lucky ii did not . thankies to all my bestie who is there for mi <3 did something that ii should not . but what done had been done nothing can be undone ! yeaps . ii have woken from my dream already . am letting go already , let fate decide everything then , if eu belong to me eventually you'll always be ! though we went through alot of obstacle but all had ended already only left with memories . those memories will be kept deep down inside my heart wanna ! it can never be erased ! thankies for all those memories you have given mi . as long as you're happy i'll be happy too . ii only got one wish , hope it will come true on my BIRTHDAY next year (: well . ii gonna concentrate on my study le . hopefully ii can pass for my exam which is coming next week ! wish me lucky man ! i'll prove to you wanna !!! ii will kept to my promise to you de ! other stress ii gonna throw it at one side le . dunch wanna make myself so miserable . walk one step see one step ! yeaps .
ii will jiayou wanna . ii can do it de (:

slept at 0630am in e morning ! damn shag man . soo tired ! woke up ard 4 in the afternoon . lols . did not go n help out at lucky due to my eye swollen and tired ! lols . gotta compensate tmrr . haas . well went out to eat after that went to find hua . eat satay liaos then go back amk to fing ah long ! sit at void deck slack talk nn gamble . ii won $140 but e money won't get de lahs . lols . after that head back sweet home lo (:

well . hope tmrr will be a better day ! am back to my old self aleady ! CHEERFUL de RACHEL ! wahhas . ii have left all the unhappiness thing in my sleep gonna look forward to better days ahead ! it's time for me to move le .

' ru guo you yuan , wo men hui zai yi qi de ' <3 0506 !

i'll never forget those sweet memories . . .

thankies you <3

GONE WITH THE WIND . . .

wan an ! strawberries dream

ii lubbf all my babe . . .

2009-11-21T23:03:00.000+08:00

` drag myself up today . this few days very tired also dunno whyie . haiis . at night keep on cannot sleep . INSOMINA ! nothin special happen to day , same routine . go down lucky nn help bro ! at there talk 3 talk 4 . lols . boring ! after that tian cme down to find me eat dinner , but ii never eat cause want to vomit . ps as tian xin ! hmms . next tym eat with eu kaes (:

ysd heard something that ii should not have ! hear liaos whole person no mood , also dunno whyie ! haiis . dunno whyie m soo affected by him ! am really trying hard to forget everything . well , ii guess it's take time bahs ): hopefully ii can overcome it fast ! haiis . today see him , but ii treat him as transparent wanna ! though it pain but ther's nothing ii can do wanna ! haiya . wateva it ish ii sure can take it wanna ! i'll be back soon ! there's nothin ii RACHEL MEI MEI canno de (:

my eye's damn pain xiia . haiis . . . gonna rest early !

2009-11-20T01:02:00.002+08:00

ii just can't concentrate in what am doing )':

am so shag his few days , helping out at herng shop ! lucky really ish not my place liaos . things has been changing , the market was not as good as before already . it's not as best as before already ! yeaps . exam is coming in 2 weeks times . ii tink ii should back-up aleady ! but ii just can't concentate . ii really dunch wan to disappoint those who have hopes on me . wat should ii do ? am at a lost nw . where have e rachel meimei gone to ? things have been changing so muchie . frens come and goes as well . things hasn't been going well for this past 2mths . our story ended # 0506 for 1mths aleady , wat have actually gone wrong ? ii myself also dunno ! lots of ??? in my head ! how ii wish . . . wat gone cannot come back aleady ! ii should accept the fact but ii just can't move on . how long can ii go on like this ? sooner or later ii wll fall until jialat jialat one ! haiis . hope times can cure all wounds

<3 i'll nv stop loving eu till eu say u love me no more !

let's see what the future is awaiting for me .
how ii wish eu are by my side now !

iimisseu bn dan (^(oO)^) 0506 . . .

2009-11-16T00:55:00.001+08:00

it's been 5 days since ii last blog . lols . so here ii am to update tis past few days !

tis few days haven been dragging myself out of bed , kip on telling myself 15 min more when my alarm rang ! damn shag cause have been helping out at herng brota shop down at lucky plaza for this past few days ! things over there wasn't the same as the past , and it's not as fun as before ! though some off my good friends are over there but it wasn't the same anymore . so well , am just there temporay only ! moreover , all my skills have gone to the drain already ! am not use to it and am not as sharp as before already ! so well ii guess it's game over ! lols . everybody was shocked that ii went back lucky to help herng , nobody thought that ii would be back . well ii guess , things are fated but am gonna leave soon when brota have settle down !

am mentally torture everyday , cant eat cant sleep ! wat the hell ish happening to me man ? this few days saw him , we did not talk just smile to each other only . that day wanted to buy a leather case also pai sei . haiis . ii think this ish all fate , 3yrs ago was lykdat now also the same ! ii really give up ! time could never go back to 2nd SEPT , those are the memories he gave me it can never be erased from my heart wanna ! ii have never done a cross stitch to any people , his the first and the last ! how ii wish ii could give him the cross stitch that ii have done just for him ! bb lubbf how ii wish u're right beside me to be my pillar of support am lost in the jungle path , there's no stars to guide me through ! ii know things can never be saved already , am leaving in hell u know ? seeing you this few days , and those brave fronts that ii huf to put to show you am strong really make me very miserable ! my heart is broken into million of small pieces , knife stabbing through . am totally in pain ! but there's nothing ii could do ! ii can't even concentrate on my study ! am really lost ! you gave me hope and just leave without a trace . would you be there for me when ii need you ? life without you is colourless , ii need you to fill my life with rainbow ! how ii wish those promise you made to me was not broken ! ben dan iimissheu <3

woke up late today , my alarm did not ring till melvin call me . lols . bathe , make-up after that took a cab down to lucky ! reach there about 1230pm ! sales was not really good today ! actually gonna sell one N97 but in the end never due to the stupid 571 msg in the inbox ! WTF right ? haas . but lucky my another customer brota mange to sell him the iphone ! haiis . low morale after that customer ! sadd case man ): just now esther came to find me and talk , was suprise when ii saw her , this ish the first time we talk face to face we chatted for about 15min ! she is really different from the past , more friendly (: talk about him , she told me the same things as them and she was also suprise that we are not together anymore , she asked me to move on and concentrate on my study ! well ii guess , ii really need tym ! dat all ii can say , let's time prove etink ! cyaa soon babe ! there's more to catch up ! tian xin came down to find me . lols . almost everyday oso see her man ! lubbfeu tons . after work went to taka basement to buy food and eat ! ate tako pachi , e jap noodles & mochi ice cream ! finally we get to eat e mochi ice cream ! haas . went to check the price of the care bear but it was so expensive $60 man ! thought sale got offer but found out it was the same as other's . sadd case . anybody wanna buy one for me ? e purple care bear ? lols . in the end tian xin bought a tigger for me ! she really brighten up my days ! thankies tian (: wo aii nii ! didn't know that we would become so close , not expected man ! but well this ish fate ! took mrt home , last stop home sweet home ! tian xin eu beta dunch get bored of seeing mi alrite ? thanks for everything . iilubbfeu <3

how times flies , it's been one month since we broke up . e wound ish still fresh and bleeding ! ii really can't forget and move on to become a happier and cheerful RACHEL or MEI MEI . . . how ii wish , how ii wish .

<3 0506 iimisseu ben dan . . .

2009-11-10T23:08:00.000+08:00

mm so tired today ! drag myself out of bed today ! reach school at 9am ! e lesson ish so boring ! whyie MOE kip on want change e format ! stupid format ! lols . hmm . get back exam paper , expected 19/20 ! stupid wrong one question ! wanted to get full marks de lahs ! SHIT !

after school went to town . bought my files . den wait for my brota ' herng ' . say 1230pm ! in e end 0130pm ! haas . went to eat with him & melvin den after that go his shop to help him ! lols . after soo long , ii finally step into lucky plaza again ! e feeling was soo different lo ! not as fun as b4 ! lols . hmm . saw him jus now , so awarked man ! everything seem to be so different ! mm kinda mix up now ! dunno wat to do ! standing in e middle of no where man ! haiis . let see wat e future will bring us man ! haiis .

tmrr gotta wake up early , gt class ! after dat , tink i'll head dwn to help bro again bahs ! siianz ! nites . . .

II MISS EU BEN DAN . . .

2009-11-09T00:25:00.001+08:00

woke up damn early today . cause thought that aunty got come clean e house . in e end she never turned up nn never evan said . shit her lo . aeroplane queen ! so slack at bed until time to go prepare , woke them up as well ! ready by 1220 , so went to amk hub to meet da dou ! lols . den wait for dhanielle to reach amk ! after we took train together to head town to meet , tian . gan & suii ! ate at hong kong cafe ! the service was damn lousy lor ! haas . bought 7 ticket for poker king but sweetheart aeroplane mi ! idoits !

after that ger came down from work to meet us ! went to blossom to bought some clothes , cause it was on sale . dunch buy ' dui bu qi zhi zi ' man only $10 cause on sales ! lols . anyway tian bought care bear for us ! mine ish purple de (: bought birthday card for kakak also , hopefully she can received man ! ii bought 2 care bear also ! lols . so total got 6 care bear ! it stand for us (: lols

e movie was very funny lahs . but e ending was predictable ! lols . half way through suddenly huihui call then ii realise that we are meeting her . slip of my mind - SORRY ya (: rush down after movie to find them ! movie end dhanielle huf to rush back , after awhile da dou oso went off ! wait cab with them . lucky they reach home on time man ! lols . so we head down to orchard central de coffee bean to chat for awhile . it's been ages since we last saw fang fang & huihui ! lols . shall see u guys soon again !

head down to cathay to eat sushi ! never ate much cause not much of choices ! next time man ! cause today too rush liaos . finally gers get to eat her sashimi ! saw meis , so chatted awhile . shall meet u when yaa O's ishh finish ! after sushi went to take mrt home , haas . gossip session ! home sweet home by 1020pm . am not late ! haas . happy day today . everybody was there except for sweetheart ! can you please find some time for us ? haas . . .

ENJOYABLE DAY OUT ! LUBBF BABE & DUDE LOAD . .

uploading photo tmmrr ya (: sippin soon . tired ! nites (:

2009-11-05T20:52:00.000+08:00

woke up at 0730am . lols . everybody already went out liaos . so ii dilly dally here and there went out at 0810am , reach sch at 0905am . thought e exam would be very difficult but when ii see e paper . SHOCKED OF MY LIFE MAN . CHICKEN FEET MAN . close eye's also can do ars . though am confident but in e end wrong 1 question . siianz half . e answer ish revenue in e end ii wrot current liabilities cause ii thought it was creditor but ii did not read properly they were saying service so ish revenue . lols

after exam , took bus and went to amk central buy some food liaos den jiu went home ! it's was raining cats and dogs . caught in e rain abit . hopefully ii won't fall sick . slack at home for awhile after that kays swit came up . and we ki siaoz together . after that da dou . jiki n e gf also came up . after awhile we went to central to mum mum and they mit one more friend shermin . hmms . me n da dou went to buy vegetable rice to eat . den we fight for paying e money and when ii took e plate he say no should be boii take wan . lols . after that ii went to order satay nn pay at e same tym in e end cme liaos da dou wanna pay ii jiu tell him say ii pay liaos . lols . eu rr too slow man dou ! slack . talk over there 0715pm we jiu went off liaos cause our leg got watch . lols .

finally dadou eu're out . be sensible yaa . iimisseu tons (: MY SY TY CY . iilubbfeu

2009-11-05T00:19:00.002+08:00

WOW . woohoo ~ my DA DOU iish out today man . fucking happy lyk shit ! haas (: iilubbfeu . . .

woke up at 4.45am . intended to wake up study but to tired . in e end woke up at 6.45am ! bathe . photocopy notes . in e end everything in aa rush . make-up & photocopy at e same time . thought i'll be late , in e end just reach in tym . lols .

after school went to tian xin shop . actually want take bus wanna but too tired liaos , ended up take cab . lols . stay at her shop , eat . talk . nn nap awhile . lols . but not totally fall asleep . until abt 7pm den leave her shop . e boss long bang ask go hougang mall . bought donuts . sweets - her favourite lollipop , mentos . egg tart . sugar rolls . tibits . lols . she betaa finish all if not me nn tian xin will skin her alive .

went to her house to find her nn gave her aa suprise . lols . when we reach there , press e doorbell so many tym but no one came , in e end e brota open e door den slam it nn walk off . gave us a shocked man . den we just stand outside like idots . actually tian xin want open e door nn walk in wanna then ii say very rude so we just stand there for aa few minutes in e end e brota come out again den tis tym round he call da dou . lols . when you cc her expression , she was shocked nn happy lo . lols . DA DOU eu see we treat eu so good . must repay back wanna ars . haas . chat with her , smoke ! lols . finally u're out man ! den she sang my favourite song , there's was tears in my eye but ii just turn to look at another direction ! heard she say that all of them never received my letter man . shit lor . wrote so much in e end all never received ! IIMISS them man , especially KAKAK . ii never forget eu . eu're always on my mind . nvm lahs . i'll continue to flood . one day u sure will receive want ! wahhas . haiis . all e memories came back , hopefully things will goes smoothly this time round bahs . still gt alot think wanna share with da dou but when see her lost of words man . hmm . went off at 1035pm . am broke already man . today spend $50 .reach home in 10mins time . lols . slack , online , bathe ! gonna sip soon tmmr gt EXAM . wish me luck man . hopefully all ii can do wanna (:

ALL THE Y's TO DA DOU . TIAN XIN . SWITHEART . BAOBEII . XIN GAN

and etc . . .

ii lubbfeu all tons . neber be replaced . IRREPLACABLE <3

` IIMISSHSEU BB LUBBF . DA BEN DAN .

would eu come back to me ? mm totally lost nw .

eu gave me HOPE nn u left me without a TRACE . . .

WHER ISH E STAR DAT BRIGHTEN UP MY PATH ?

wan an . strawberries dream . MY SY TC CY iilubbfeu (^(oO)^)

2009-11-04T23:53:00.000+08:00

3rd Nov . woke up early in e morning . in a rush to go school . after school went to tian xin shop to do some notes . evening tym when to eat with daddy nn gan ma . ate westen food . wahhaas . nothing much lahs . went home liaos . bath watch one espiode of ' tang xin fong bao ' after dat jiu went to sleep liaos . wahhaas . nthing special .

II MISSHS HIM SO BADLY .

DA BEN DAN . BB LUBBF )':

sobbx . . .

2009-11-02T13:43:00.000+08:00

1st November 2009 . it's my 7th ANNIVERSARY with TIAN XIN !

happy anniversary tian xin iilubbfeu <3 ! went to watch movie with her at amk hub ' jennifer's body ' ! after movie was supposed to met up with gers to study but ended up nothing . haiis . in e end quarrel until ' peng you dou mei de zuo ' . e whole thing ish lykdats - sista called mi say wanted to eat dinner n accompany her go see doctor , so ii told her okay . at the same time ii told her that ii would be going home study with gers . ii msg gers told her that sista will be joining us and she would go my hse too ! den gers tell me dat she dunch like people who dunch study around and say dat there's only one laptop . wat can she do up there ? she say she will affect us ! but one in one out nn nobody at home ? lastly she told me that ii go back on my words and now she dunch care wateva shit we go through and our relationship stop from that moment onward ! mm lost of words at that moment . really looking forward to e day where my tag ish off n we would go chiong together ! would that day come ? cuming 6yrs de frenship . . . haiis )':

met up with sistaz after movie , went to eat at center de market + dessert ! wahhaas (: after dat tian xin went to play badminton den me and sistas went to bishan junction8 to walk walk . last destination home sweet home .

ii feel that am so useless , everything also do wrong . what the hell ish going on man ? haiis . DA DOU ish coming out soon . really misshs her damn loads man . hopefully things won't be e same as before . DA DOU iilubbfeu , ALL E Y TO YA (: countdown to WEDNESDAY . ` lalalalalaas . . . muackies

2009-10-31T23:41:00.001+08:00

woke up late today , cos it's SATURDAY . hmms . went downstair to buy food to eat . finish eating den went to study but e FIFO ish making me so blur . lols . thankies kor and gers for e information but ii still dunch understand ! haas . we e accompany of my tibits ii study until evening . lols . ate lolipop . during 7-up . ate porridge . lols . if this continue i'll definitely gain dunno how many kg wanna ! wahhaas (:

it was raining cat nn dog . lucky ii did not go out ! hmms . study until evening den took a break to watch drama . haas (: ate alot tink man . wahhas . hmms . ard 7+pm daddy call so went dwn to take gan ma make e white fungus with longan ! hees . when ii reach home daddy called again say wanna eat dinner . soo ii changed nn went down as daddy come nn fetch mi . soo went to eat dinner at my house opposite e seafood resturant to eat crab . sweet nn sour ribs . fish . lols . damn full man . reach home ard 930pm ! wahhas .

reach home liao continue with my drama ' tang xin fong bao - jia hao yue yuan ' and online . play cafe (:

yeaps . 4 more days DA DOU ish coming out liaos . ` woohoo (:

ii really misshs DA BEN DAN ):

2009-10-31T01:35:00.001+08:00

due to my tiredness , ii overslept todae ! although gers got call miie wake up but right after ii hang up ii went back to sleep again ! a shocked of my life ii woke up at 830am , jump rite ou from e bed grab my towel and went to bathe . initially wanted to take a cab go achool wanna but kinda lyk not worth cause but e tym ii reached school ard 920am ! in e end half way decided not to go , but ii did not went back to sleep . do some revision nn wrote some notes until my eye cannot take it then ii went to took a nap , it's was already 1145am ! around 1+pm someone call me and ALI BABA with me . keep on ask miie e same question . soo IRRITATING ! in e endd due to my tiredness nn irritation , my temper blew ! so we ended up quarreling instead of meeting ! thinks would not be e same like before . haiis ):

went out ard 2+pm to meet ' Gan Ma ' . though ii was unhappy about e previous incident but when ii saw her things just got out of my mind for a little whil . yeaps . went to have lunch with her at amk central market . after lunch she accompany me go do manicure again . haas . cause my colour drop again . lols . tis tym round my nails ish DARK GREEN COLOUR . wahaas . went to ntuc after that to buy stuff ( routine ) bought milk . tibits . drink . tang yuan nn etc ... daddy came to fetch us home ' ah mat ' lols . . .

home sweet home . pack everything then rest awhile . wash clothes then cook porridge and ask kors nn joanne jie come back eat ! wahhas . cook mushroom soup as well but ii alone finish it up . haas . watch dvd ' tang xin fong bao - jia hao yuan yuan ' it was a nice show start o watch jiu cannot end ! haas . when they came home they ate my porridge nn say it was nice ! lols . indeed my cooking skills still up to standed wanna . ii love to cook but ii hate wash up ! lols . dat e end ogf my day (: gotta continue with my show after dat study ! lols . hopefully ii won't kana temp by pple to go out tmmr cause ii wanna revise my study ! lols (:

` lalalaas ! DA DOU ISH CUMING OUT SOON 4 MRE DAYS...

looking forward to cyaa ! ii wanna HUG eu man ...

ALL THE YY TO YOU ...

muackies (^(oO)^)

2009-10-29T23:42:00.000+08:00

tinks huf not been going well for mi since e day we seperated ! 1) fall sick for more than 1 week , dat day still cause of low-blood suddenly blackout lucky never fall . 2) quarrel with bestie ( lucky we rr ok liaos ) . 3) hufing problem in study , can't understand e subject ' Principle Of Production Mangement ' . 4) can't move on , in a delimma ! 5) insomina - can't sip in e night , eday onli sip few hours ! sighs . .

today woke up at 6.45am but fall asleep back in e end jump up at 7.01am , lols . gimme a shocked man . without hesitation ii quickly call gers cause promise her ii will wake her up at 7am thought she still sleeping but she already woke up liaos . haas . today almost late men , went out of hse 7.45am , lucky ii was not late for school . haas (: today in class copy alot note . but there rr formula mm mixed up with . haiis . must re - memorise everthing again ! SHAG MAX . stupid MOE change everything . haas . overall today lesson iish not as boring as other day ! lols . after sch went to city hall to mit sis ' shervonne ' and eu noe she iish late almost for an hour . lols . noe her pattern liaos but ysd nite she still asure mi dat she will fetch mi from school . say only lahs . irritating but ii lubbf her to e MAX man . while waiting for her ii went to raffles shooping to walk ard . buy 1 dozen of ' DONUT FACTORY ' donut to bring to JieJie hse . finally , she arrived den we head off to marina square to mum mum . walk ard , smoke nn tok . there are always full of topic for us to share nn gossip about . lols . after dat went to take mrt nn head off to woodland - causeway point ! walk ard den head off to ' PINC ' to do express manicure nn pedicure . after dat went to cold storage buy things den take bus to jiejie house !

so happy to see my nephew nn niece . play with them . stay for dinner . they really brighten up my day man . seeing them shouting on top of their voice . laughing n bullying each other , ish nthin you could see for life times cause they will grow up as times goes by . so this rr my memories of them in their childhood ! after dinner ate dessert - donuts den rest awhile jiefu gif us a ride to sembawang mrt ! in e mrt one fuck up guys was sitting bside sis . feel lyk slapping him . kip on wan to tok to us ! sickening ass man . drop at amk , went to popular buy some stuff for study use n daddy fetch mii home ! lols . home sweet home by 930pm . early

now let e photo do e show today bahs . 5 more days my precious DA DOU ish coming out ! HOORAY (:

2009-10-28T23:25:00.002+08:00

well . tink's dunch really goes well today ! haiis . woke up at 645am . drag myself out of bed . ii can't slack anymre . now huf to focus on study . ii can't disappoint those people who have put their hope and support on mi ! ii will jiayou wanna (:

after school ii actually look forward to see all my bestie especially gergers cause we won't be seeing each other so often cause both of us huf to study nn strive forr our future . but tink's just didn't went smoothly ! ii really didn't meant to say all that to you wanna . mm jus pissed off by certain things which ii dunch huf aa chance to say to you ! everything just goes wrong's ! mm sorry yaa ! you're simply irreplacable by any1 of them ! nothing can replaced eu in my <3 wana ! frens lyk eu can nv be found again (:

well eventually e whole day mm so upset by e tink's . hopefully our frenship dunch just end here ! sighs . . .went to tian xin shop to acc her after dat went to cinileisure to watch movie ' E SISTA KEEPER ' and u noe wat happen xin gan actually can't find her way to cini ! ish she a SINGAPOREAN ? omgs . ben dan rite ? hmms . e movie was very nice ! very touching . watch until omost drop tears . but e story line ish not e same as e book . e ending ish soo different . but overall e show ish NICE . so gt tym , pple out there go nn watch , highly recommanded (: after movie . bought aa cake for XIN GAN & we went to eat at Far East ' Nana Thai ' huf some fun their . let e photo do e show lata on ! went to do mani we tian xin after dat . sumtym ii tink ish kinda waste of money but ii still do it . LOLS . silly of mi . e ending of today was like FUCK . xin gan actually told us to go off ourself say she wana smoke . wat e ? eventually ii jus walk off without saying another words cause mm rushing home . on my way home ii thought of wat happen today . ii was kinda upset . hopefully ii can save back etink ! did make back home in tym 9.56pm ! today feel sumtink miss out , usually ger wuld ask whether mm home ! hopefully tink's will get back to e same ASAP . mm sorry babe !

anw . HAPPY BELATED BURFDAY XIN GAN hope u enjoy yaself today ! lubbfyaa

dat all for today . counting dwn to NOV 4th . my DA DOU WILL BE OUT LIAO (: wahhhaas . . .

GOSH . they kiss mi !

~ my xin gan . tian xin & me (: ~

2009-10-27T20:09:00.000+08:00

Tuesday ! what aa day ! mm aa SICK CAT now ! haiis . sick for soo many days already , eat medicine also no use . dunno what happen to miie oso ! haiis . am having fever now ! hopefully i'll get well soon ! thankies to all who rr so concern abt moii especially gers ( shuyi ) .

today someone make mango pudding gimme eat ! it's been ages since ii last ate it ! thankies (:

jus woke up not long and daddy call ! ask miie whether m feeling ok nn ask me huf ii eaten my dinner ? and without hesitation he bought dinner for miie (: daddy iilubbfeu . you never fail to be there for miie ! thankies ferr etink !

today iish xin gan burfday ! lols . almost forget about it due to my sickness ! it's e thought that count right ? HAPPY BIRTHDAY XIN GAN , may all your dream come true in watever ways ! ii noe wat's ya wish . relax chill alrite . it will come true wan (:

1 more week DA DOU ish coming out already ! faster faster . IIMISSYOU (:

2009-10-27T01:28:00.000+08:00

MONDAY BLUES ~ today woke up at 630am cos got SCHOOL . damn tired but drag myself up . haiis . can't my lesson be in e afternoon ? lols . joanne jies still say ' wahs , u wake up so early ar ? ' lols . bobian leis . huf to make-up b4 go out ! use to it liaos . haas . today got ai xin breakfast . toast bread make by joanne jies . lols . today all of us woke up damn early ! ii went out first cos mit leslie bro at e MRT .e mrt was so squeezey ! OMGS . all people like KIASU lykdats ! haas . reach redhill dat tym ish onli 8am so ii go dwn e mrt with him tgt den we went for a smoke . lols . nn he sponser miie cab fare to my sch ! thankies bro (: wahhaas . 6yrs of frenship still counting on . . .

reach school just on time . no late . but e lesson was damn boring man . e lectuer just talk like a MACHINE GUN . e most funny part he say joke but ended up he ownself laugh ! LAME rite ? wahaas . during e lesson ii kip on yawn n look at e clock praying that e tym will go faster so lesson will end soon . went for smoking break with kid nn 1 of her fren ! lols . den we gossip abt e lectuer . 3 ladies = market ! lols .

after school went to eat nn play billiard . lols .after so long never play but ii still maintain abit lahs . ' MAI SIAO SIAO ' ars ! haas . i'll train back my skills in no time wanna . jus wait nn see ! after billiard ii went to cousin house . talk with xuan & brandon + play audition tgt ! mm still so close with them . tym's nv mk as bcum stranger instead it brought us mre close tgt ! yeaps . went dwnstair to eat dinner with ah ma n bth of dem ! ard 6.50pm ii left for home took 165 back den change to cab ! reach home jus in tym 7.56pm . my timing ish oway so accurate ! lols . when ii was there ii felt so peace , all my worries gone . their laughter brightwn up my days (: hey ~ little cousin i'll find more tym ferr you all kaes . i'll cyaa all soon . misshs loadds

last but not least . reach home liaos bathe . watch tv . play FB . read through some notes . play audition ! lols

hopefully tym will bring all my sorrow off soon . gotta end here . tmrr still gt school . shag max . wan an (:

<3 BEN DAN IIMISSHSEU ):

2009-10-25T22:22:00.004+08:00

nothin much happen today . same routine . woke up at 1+pm , eat nn den online . after dat went to cook mushroom soup . ard 3+pm ger came up follow by xiaoxiang then we study together ! lols . den we order KFC nn eat . went downstair to buy bubble tea and cigarette . know what happen ? suddenly ii black out due to low blood pressure ! ii nearly fall to e floor . gave them aa shocked man ! haiis . ' lao mao bing ' ! ii was damn ps lor cos knocked until e mama shop thing ! lols . but bobian !

hmms . could not concentrate on study today ii also dunno why ! maybe ish cause of him bahs . mm really tryin very hard to move on but ii just can't ! stuck to e ground . yy must things turn out to be in this way ? eu gave miie hope and yet you left leaving me all alone . eu say eu wun leave miie wana but . . . ! where are all e promises u once say to mie ? pple use to say promise rr meant to be broken ! issit true ? just now at FB long say to miie ' there will be rainbow after e rain ' hopefully there butterfly too (: anyway ii RACHEL . MEIMEI ' pa buai duo ' one ! lols . ii wont fall so easy wanna . i'll be back in no tym ! all ii nid ish just tym ! let netural tk it's course . SHIT !
[ would you be there for miie ? ]
[ wher's ish e star that brighten up my path ? ]
EMO to e MAX . . .

haiis ! tmrr still got sch . siianz . ii must jiayou le !
tym's to rest le . wahaas . fucking early man . .
wan an . strawberries dreams (^(oO)^)

countdown 10 more days DA DOU is cuming out le . . .
iilubbfeu ZHU DA DOU (:

2009-10-24T23:26:00.011+08:00

today woke up at 1+pm den online . saw sumtink den my imagination start to run wild . haiis . WTF man . SHIT ! siianz . chat with my little cousin . xuan & yang both complain say very siians ! xuan ask me to bring her to escape tmrr but ii not free . maybe wait till she holiday bahs den bring all of them go ! lols . and i'll be broke soon . as long as they are happy ii also will happy . so all of you wait kks . i'll find sumtym ferr u all wanna (:

went out to cut my hair todae nn met up with gers ( shuyi ) & xiaoxiang at KFC ! lols . gers saye hair cut look lyk my previous hairstyle . lols . ii was sick but ii still ate KFC . yi du gong du ! wahaas (: after that we head dwn to guardian to buy ... n headed to NTUC to buy titbits nn 3 of us headed to my sweet home and study ! lols . can't imagine we actually can huf e chance to study at e same table . haas . tok nn study at e sametym . enjoyable . lols (: ard 10pm they headed home . so here iim blogging . msn n playin fb ! lols .

2009-10-24T04:26:00.007+08:00

SHE MY BESTIE . LUBF EU SIS (:

today ii did not go to school as ii was sick ! actually ii wanted to go want but due to my lazyness . lols . anyway ii got mc so why waste it right ? siianz

met up with my sis vonne todae . went to find her at wisma when she off work . after that we went to lucky for awhile den head off to parklane to mum mum . ate chicken rice which she say was very nice but to mi only average . but who know when we get there she only eat alittle . ended up ii ate alone . lols (: for dessert we ate beancurd .

after which tian xin came down to find us . and we went to Mr Bean to accompany her to eat again . tis tym round ii order SINFUL BROWNIE n share with sis ! lols . soo chocolatey ! OMGS ! we talk n slack at there for awhile . after that ii feel so sick . after that all of us headed home !

* tian xin dunch sad le okay ? you stil got me ! we're on e same boat now ! but ther's nthin we can do except to accept e fate and look forward . hopefully things will get better as tym's goes by . let's fate decide ferr us bahs . smiles (: